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I went to see the College Counsellor today, on the advice of a couple of people who said I ought to look at professional help for my depression-like symptoms. (For reference, today I woke up at 10am and got out of bed at 1pm.)
The College Counsellor asked me a few things, then asked me whether I was really bothered about not getting good marks. I answered 'no', because I'm not. She then asked me if everything was flat and I didn't feel anything. I answered 'no', because actually I'm quite happy most of the time, and it definitely isn't the same everything-is-grey-and-covered-in-spiderwebs (the spiderwebs add just that bit more effort to getting anywhere, or breathing) feeling that I get now and then which I think she was referring to. She then told me that if I wasn't actually personally bothered with getting that 2.1, and not wearing myself out working for it would make me happier, then I should not work for it. She persisted in this opinion even when I said that if I didn't have people telling me that certain things were unhealthy to do I would probably lie in bed all day, occasionally getting to the computer to spod, until everyone stopped feeding me and I died.
If anyone sees some motivation lying around brutally murdered, that would be the remains of mine, then. Do give it a decent burial, I think I might miss it.
The College Counsellor asked me a few things, then asked me whether I was really bothered about not getting good marks. I answered 'no', because I'm not. She then asked me if everything was flat and I didn't feel anything. I answered 'no', because actually I'm quite happy most of the time, and it definitely isn't the same everything-is-grey-and-covered-in-spiderwebs (the spiderwebs add just that bit more effort to getting anywhere, or breathing) feeling that I get now and then which I think she was referring to. She then told me that if I wasn't actually personally bothered with getting that 2.1, and not wearing myself out working for it would make me happier, then I should not work for it. She persisted in this opinion even when I said that if I didn't have people telling me that certain things were unhealthy to do I would probably lie in bed all day, occasionally getting to the computer to spod, until everyone stopped feeding me and I died.
If anyone sees some motivation lying around brutally murdered, that would be the remains of mine, then. Do give it a decent burial, I think I might miss it.
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no subject
Date: 2005-11-09 09:47 am (UTC)From:Please dont die.
You push your self too hard. I know im a lazy bastard who whould rather not do anything. And im always telling you to relax but i know you have the tallent, skill and inteligence for this.
Its your genius let them have it in the quantitys you like.
Take care of your self. Dont let anyone push you around.