(no subject)

[chess]

Today I am mostly a miserable, whining loser.

It appears I'm incapable of getting presents, organising a simple trip to a cinema, buying and cooking myself a decent tea and washing up on time, sorting out washing that's already washed and dried, posting Christmas cards and getting ready to go to a cell group social without disolving into pools of tears.

I sincerely hope I have a cold coming or something, because otherwise I have absolutely no excuse for this pathetic behaviour.

Why do I always project all these expectations of my behaviour onto my parents, and then get angry with myself and miserable at them when I fail to live up to them, when all they want is for me to stop being such a misery, and perhaps be able to organise my way out of a paper bag from time to time?

I should, like, tidy my room up and make better plans for tomorrow, but I don't seem to be capable of doing anything without crying again, and I need to look happy and normal by 8pm...

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[chess]

I'm accounting Saturday evenings free; I did have a Shadowrun campaign at that time, but it died of apathy. I didn't particularly notice Saturday evenings being eaten at any faster rate than any other evening...