(no subject)

[chess]

Today I am mostly a miserable, whining loser.

It appears I'm incapable of getting presents, organising a simple trip to a cinema, buying and cooking myself a decent tea and washing up on time, sorting out washing that's already washed and dried, posting Christmas cards and getting ready to go to a cell group social without disolving into pools of tears.

I sincerely hope I have a cold coming or something, because otherwise I have absolutely no excuse for this pathetic behaviour.

Why do I always project all these expectations of my behaviour onto my parents, and then get angry with myself and miserable at them when I fail to live up to them, when all they want is for me to stop being such a misery, and perhaps be able to organise my way out of a paper bag from time to time?

I should, like, tidy my room up and make better plans for tomorrow, but I don't seem to be capable of doing anything without crying again, and I need to look happy and normal by 8pm...

Comments

[dr-vannacutt.livejournal.com]

I feel like that from time to time. I hope you feel better. Take care of your self.

[tienelle.livejournal.com]

You're obviously not completely incompetent. You managed to get through your first term at Cambridge on No Free Evenings, and didn't kill anyone (or they haven't found the bodies yet). It's taken me three years to work up to that, and I don't think I handled it as well as you did. Occasional off days aren't really cause for concern, though they are rather irritating.

Were it not too late to have any relevance, I might suggest that you either skip your 8 pm thing, or not bother trying to look happy for it.

[chess]

Meh, I know how to sort myself out when in these moods; went to cell group, talked about random stuff and ate too much, and was quite happy by the time I got to walk home in the frost with the clear night sky...

Oh, and I had a free evening (two by the end of the term!). I just usually found something to do with it by the time I actually got to it, is all...

[naath.livejournal.com]

I tried to do have something to do every night last Michaelmas. It worked, by the end of term I didn't...

[naath.livejournal.com]

Hey, it was me what fscked up the cinema arrangements not you. Don't be silly.

Oh, and eat some chockit. Allways good.

[tienelle.livejournal.com]

Ah, good. I'm still going to argue against you when you complain of uselessness, though.

Are you accounting Saturday evenings free? I viewed them as busy with *something*, even if I didn't know what it was yet.

[chess]

I'm accounting Saturday evenings free; I did have a Shadowrun campaign at that time, but it died of apathy. I didn't particularly notice Saturday evenings being eaten at any faster rate than any other evening...