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I feel a little irritated that I didn't get to the LJ picnic today, but on the other hand my dissertation did need some love. It is still an anemic 5.2k words, but that's rather better than it was this morning.
Yesterday, amongst failing to do work, I went on a nightbash with TT, which was fantastic. Mostly because I desperately needed to get out in the fresh air and run around a bit.
I have a counselling appointment tomorrow, but I feel something of a fraud as my 'depression' appears to be basically entirely the fault of my project and exam doom and job worries rather than anything more fundamental, given how it lifts when I make progress and when I get out of the working context. Also, I probably should be spending the time working on my dissertation. But I feel guilty about cancelling at short notice, even though I suspect it will just be wasted, frustrating time on both sides. (I don't get on with counselling anyway; counsellors in my experience are all intensely social people who expect responses from me that it's quite exhausting to either give or explain the absence of.)
Yesterday, amongst failing to do work, I went on a nightbash with TT, which was fantastic. Mostly because I desperately needed to get out in the fresh air and run around a bit.
I have a counselling appointment tomorrow, but I feel something of a fraud as my 'depression' appears to be basically entirely the fault of my project and exam doom and job worries rather than anything more fundamental, given how it lifts when I make progress and when I get out of the working context. Also, I probably should be spending the time working on my dissertation. But I feel guilty about cancelling at short notice, even though I suspect it will just be wasted, frustrating time on both sides. (I don't get on with counselling anyway; counsellors in my experience are all intensely social people who expect responses from me that it's quite exhausting to either give or explain the absence of.)
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Date: 2006-05-14 07:07 pm (UTC)From:Yes, there is work involved, and it's good that you're trying to answer the questions. But sometimes the right answer is "I can't answer" - knowing that you don't know.
Most counsellors aren't sociable people, in fact. Many of them are shy, insecure, and like the structure of the counselling room in order to talk to people. They know this, and deal with it in their own counselling sessions, and are thus able to empathise and see when you're struggling. However, you have to say openly "I'm struggling" - it's not about giving up, or trying to be superwoman. It's about being real with who you are. If she said 'I can see you're finding that difficult', short term that would help, but long term it disempowers you.
Seeing a psychiatrist can be done via the UCS. You don't have to go to Addenbrooke's.