Ramblings

[chess]

I am currently feeling wretchedly girly, because I am unhappy about being fat.

Not only am I unhappy about being fat, I don't have the first idea about what to do about it. Most days I'm walking for at least an hour, maybe two; I don't think I'm eating excessively large amounts of food; and I won't have time in term time even to do the walking that I'm doing at the moment.

I'm tempted to just get a new set of clothes (because I think that once 'clothes not fitting' stops reminding me continually that I'm fat, I might forget about it) and try and ignore it. But I'm not sure it is just the clothes; carrying more weight makes me feel different (I have nasty rolly bits which stick together).

I kind of lost at Sunday; I didn't get up in time for church, and then I got ill again in the evening. In the meantime I tidied my room and packed for Malestrom, which I also failed at because I couldn't find half the lammies I was looking for.

Work isn't too bad at the moment (which is good because I'm doing a lot of it in preparation for leaving early on Friday); I've finally actually got a reasonable project to be working on, and the temperature has gone down a bit.

After work today, walking home, I was ambushed by Bryony and Flying_O, who were wearing loud shirts. I think I might scream too easily at the moment because I screamed when they said "Boo" from behind me. We then talked about snakey things. Snakes are fun. Yay for Snakey Maelstrom.

Eventually I got in; shortly thereafter there was a Tom who talked about Piraty Maelstrom, which doesn't seem half so fun. Silly piratey people.

tienelle is doing lots of sewing at the moment, which means he is doing a lot of yelling at the sewing machine. It is cute. Edith is scared. I even have kit for the character I plan to play if I get stabbed up at this event, so I am not doing any sewing, although now I need to make crazy plans involving string to deal with the oddly-shaped daggers I shall be acquiring.

Comments

my two pennorth

[omniscient-fool.livejournal.com]

just a suggestion - given that you are going into a year of big time stress, maybe you'd be better off not messing around with your diet too much, and certainly not cutting intake. Joysilence is right about excercise/walking (unfortunately), and I would second the suggestion of yoga. It's not as lame as it sounds but it does all the good things (toning, burning etc) without feeling nasty. It will also make you feel a lot less stressed and refresh your mind so less guilt about taking 1.5 hrs off a week for it. Also, you can get a dvd and do it in your room if you don't want to assume various undignified positions in a room full of Others.

and btw, I know the important thing is how you see yourself, but for what it's worth, last time I saw you you weren't looking at all fat :)