the silent voices are driving me crazy

So.

This past couple of weeks I have done lots of scary things that I didn't think I was capable of doing. Fortunately God is faithful and my desperate prayers of 'what am I getting into, let this not go wrong' seem to have been answered; I spoke to a lot of random people at their doorsteps and mostly they were, y'know, people, not some kind of terrible stranger-monster.

I even coped remarkably well with the bit where I ended up attempting to 'knock up' (the process of knocking on the door of people you canvassed as supporters on election day to get them to actually come out and vote for your party) the Cambridge Socialists campaign HQ...

Now I have the stress comedown from hell and it looks like we have won the local battle only to find the party stranded in a crazy wasteland strewn liberally with broken glass and minefields.

I have a bad case of stress-comedown, a sense of creeping despair that I had only previously felt in character, and I've got to run a tavern night this evening, a linear tomorrow, and then drive down to Oxford to stay up all night in a wood trying to pretend I give a shit about Maelstrom stuff any more.

I can't even see my character's headspace from here.

Next weekend is a big event for a different character which I have been looking forwards to for ages, which I'm not convinced I'm going to be in any shape to enjoy either, or even do more than phone in on behalf of the other people who are showing up.

Is it just me, or are a lot of youngish MPs being elected this time?

I don't really feel disheartened, or defeated, or like I want to crawl back into my hole. Just kind of frustrated that I haven't been operating in the real world for a while, and maybe it could do with more of my attention...

(not that I'm any good at anything, of course, reminds the little voice telling me not to be so collossally arrogant)