Mar. 12th, 2004

chess: (the girl with kalidoscope eyes)
If you call me...
  • ... Chess, then you know me through Naath, or online (LJ / Snowplains);

  • ... ChessyPig, then you might know me through a Wiki, or through GROGGS, or maybe DWCon, or have asked which form of not-real-name I prefer;

  • ... Michelle, then you probably know me IRL, or well enough that I prefer you to use my real name anyway;

  • ... Kastaka, then you know me online from somewhere I don't give out even my usual net-name (FictionAlley, numerous game-type websites);

  • ... Mish, then you know me from school, where I finally gave up being terminally annoyed by the shortening;

  • ... Martian, then you probably know me from *primary* school;

  • ... Kassie, then you know me from Neopets, or are spam to my Hotmail account;

  • ... M'cachessilnath, then you were either a Ravine type or someone I know well enough to have told about it;

  • ... Chel, then you know my alternate reality double, or are making a really bad guess at a nickname;

  • ... Princess, either you're trying to be flattering, or you're the mad halfling from my D&D group;

  • ... Conch, then you're about to die;

  • ... Shelly, then you might be from school, or you might just be taking another incorrect guess;

  • ... asdf, you're spam to my Yahoo account;

  • ... Kallie, you're a really forgetful member of my D&D group;

  • ... Kaely/Girlie, you're a Treasure Trap type (but probably actually in time-in);

  • ... Tessaret, you're a Forever's Destiny LARPer;

  • ... mh406, you're spam to my Cambridge account;

  • ... my dark mistress, you're trying to make me feel guilty for something;

  • ... Miss Hart, you probably want to offer me a credit card, or otherwise relieve me of my money. Oh, or you're an actual work-type underling to me (the kids at Parkside, f'rinstance).


I've probably forgotten a ton of names; I've been through an awful lot of them. If anyone can remember any others, then comment. (I went through a ton in the Pern fandom, but I was always actually called as myself, and always listed my real name before my persona names.)
chess: (she longed for the days that would come)
I hate the interface between term and holiday. It's good when I have lots of fun stuff to do, but I've got a supervision in less than an hour, have done less than half of the question sheet for it, haven't been eating or drinking properly, and generally can't settle to anything. My tuit supply has been entirely exhausted by this term, it appears, and I'm hopelessly lost in terms of half my work - everything seems to be so uninspiring and unmotivating, too.

I just want to collapse and die for a few days, but I know it will only make me feel worse; I didn't get up until noon today, and all it's done is make me feel lousy and unable to shake this inertia. It's like there's a blanket of spider's webs over my head and in my head everything has just siezed up and won't communicate. I can feel that I ought to know what the answers to the supervision questions are but I can't quite get there to dig them out, and all the pretty shiny things that ought to make me happy aren't, and I can barely bring myself to look after myself, to fetch water and eat food and stuff, let alone anything else.

Meanwhile, I live like I always have; putting one foot in front of the other and hoping I don't collapse with this step, or the next, or the next. But right now I'm dragging myself along through the snow, and I don't know why, or where I'm going. Yet I know I just have to keep walking, and eventually the winter will end, again.

(In slightly less poetic news, I've had quite enough of this winter stuff and think it ought to be spring now, in the 'warmer and milder' sense of the word. Chessypigs do not like the cold. (They're not too keen on excessive heat either, but currently they're bored of being cold.) It should go away and take its nasty slippery ice with it.)

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Michelle Taylor

January 2025

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