Please, no silly names. There's no way I can take a plot seriously when it sports characters with names like "Firey Horse" and "Roaming Lioness".
Take that out and Grid becomes tolerable.
Thelstory has potential; but you probably need to modify the main character so that a) we can sympathise with him b) Kestra can fall in love with him (I'm guessing she wouldn't go for 'an empty world with them as king and queen' if she didn't like the guy)
(Make him more than a murderer, have him instead a protector, have him speak to the trees and weep at their loss. Give the trees voices (hey, it worked well in LotR) which most people can't hear. Have him start by trying to reason with the people cutting down the forests. Make their leader thoughly horrible.)
To be blunt Ka'rsi Nightclaw and Talia both sound pretty sucky from the synopsises.
The start of Kisra had potential. The first book even. But marrying a rat? No, I don't see that one.
"Who do you want to be today?" sounds very, very different from anything you've ever written. That might be good, or it might be bad (but I suspect the former requires significant changes in writing style and subject).
"Time Horizon" sounds too confused. It has some nice ideas, but I can't figure out what the climax of the plot really is. The super alien things feels too bolted on.
(And yes folks, sometimes I do say nice things about her writing. Hey ... I couldn't persuade you to carry on with Tina could I?)
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chiming
no subject
Date: 2002-10-09 08:53 am (UTC)From:Take that out and Grid becomes tolerable.
Thelstory has potential; but you probably need to modify the main character so that
a) we can sympathise with him
b) Kestra can fall in love with him (I'm guessing she wouldn't go for 'an empty world with them as king and queen' if she didn't like the guy)
(Make him more than a murderer, have him instead a protector, have him speak to the trees and weep at their loss. Give the trees voices (hey, it worked well in LotR) which most people can't hear. Have him start by trying to reason with the people cutting down the forests. Make their leader thoughly horrible.)
To be blunt Ka'rsi Nightclaw and Talia both sound pretty sucky from the synopsises.
The start of Kisra had potential. The first book even. But marrying a rat? No, I don't see that one.
"Who do you want to be today?" sounds very, very different from anything you've ever written. That might be good, or it might be bad (but I suspect the former requires significant changes in writing style and subject).
"Time Horizon" sounds too confused. It has some nice ideas, but I can't figure out what the climax of the plot really is. The super alien things feels too bolted on.
(And yes folks, sometimes I do say nice things about her writing. Hey ... I couldn't persuade you to carry on with Tina could I?)
Neil
no subject
Date: 2002-10-09 09:14 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2002-10-09 09:51 am (UTC)From:(Yasmin was meant to be a ksria-ksrii)
Neil
no subject
Date: 2002-10-09 10:54 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2002-10-10 04:40 am (UTC)From: