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I feel a little irritated that I didn't get to the LJ picnic today, but on the other hand my dissertation did need some love. It is still an anemic 5.2k words, but that's rather better than it was this morning.
Yesterday, amongst failing to do work, I went on a nightbash with TT, which was fantastic. Mostly because I desperately needed to get out in the fresh air and run around a bit.
I have a counselling appointment tomorrow, but I feel something of a fraud as my 'depression' appears to be basically entirely the fault of my project and exam doom and job worries rather than anything more fundamental, given how it lifts when I make progress and when I get out of the working context. Also, I probably should be spending the time working on my dissertation. But I feel guilty about cancelling at short notice, even though I suspect it will just be wasted, frustrating time on both sides. (I don't get on with counselling anyway; counsellors in my experience are all intensely social people who expect responses from me that it's quite exhausting to either give or explain the absence of.)
Yesterday, amongst failing to do work, I went on a nightbash with TT, which was fantastic. Mostly because I desperately needed to get out in the fresh air and run around a bit.
I have a counselling appointment tomorrow, but I feel something of a fraud as my 'depression' appears to be basically entirely the fault of my project and exam doom and job worries rather than anything more fundamental, given how it lifts when I make progress and when I get out of the working context. Also, I probably should be spending the time working on my dissertation. But I feel guilty about cancelling at short notice, even though I suspect it will just be wasted, frustrating time on both sides. (I don't get on with counselling anyway; counsellors in my experience are all intensely social people who expect responses from me that it's quite exhausting to either give or explain the absence of.)
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Date: 2006-05-15 05:16 pm (UTC)From:Mine says hello and then just sits there in silence and waits for me to fill the gap. I have no idea what I am supposed to be doing or talking about or what is relevant for her to hear, she also won't offer opinions or suggestions or advice as they aren't what counselling is for, she is also adamant it isnt a question and answer session. Even Poppy responds if I talk to her and she doesnt speak english!
We sat there in silence not looking at each other for ten mins of the last session because I thought I wait to see what *she* would do, as I had no data to work on as to what I was supposed to be doing. I am happy to talk but need a prompt as to what, and occasional response or reply or ideally reciprocal data exchange or I stop again, in accordance with the Standard Rules Of Having Conversations.