Today I am mostly Ill

[chess]

I came out with the Ill this morning so have spent today feeling sorry for myself. Unfortunately now I don't know which bits are Ill and which bits are Sitting Around All Day.

Also I feel like going 'wah give up on life' still. Being ill is a good excuse. I am worried that I might be making myself ill by wanting to be ill so I have an excuse not to do anything.

I tried to write one of the NYR fics, but it turned out at 573 words and is *finished*, dammit. I'm not sure what to do about this.

Comments

[marnanel.livejournal.com]

Maybe chocolate would help!

[senji.livejournal.com]

I tried to write one of the NYR fics, but it turned out at 573 words and is *finished*, dammit. I'm not sure what to do about this.

Get someone else to look at it and see what they think?

[ahsu.livejournal.com]

Mmmm. Chess, I may have asked this before, in which case I apologize, but have you seen a counselor? You really aren't meant to be so unhappy; maybe talking to someone would help.

Big hugs, and remember that my bulldozer is always at your disposal any time you think that running something down will make you feel better.

[icantcarenemore.livejournal.com]

That's *fantastic*.
... Although I think I might prefer a wrecking ball ;)

[queenmomcat.livejournal.com]

If you will consider suggestions from semi-strangers...this and your previous post do sound like depression to me, and genuine depression is not something that can be cured by saying "Oh, just buck up and get over it! It's all in your head, anyway!" (Of course it's all in your head--where else would mental issues be?)

I don't know what else has been going on in your life, but I do know that a major life change for good or ill (such as starting college, getting married or the death of a close family member) can trigger a depressive episode.

All standard disclaimers apply; I'm not a doctor, nor do I have any medical training, nor would it be feasible to diagnose anyone over the Internet in any case. What you describe sounds exactly like what I and my husband went through, and are only now struggling our way out of.

(I've known ahsu in the flesh for almost 20 years, and marnanel in LJ land for a year or so.)

[rochvelleth.livejournal.com]

Oh no. I know what you mean about the bit where you start to wonder if you're justifying Sitting Around All Day with illness, but you have to remember that illness *is* a real thing and it *can be* very bad for you to act like you're not ill when you are. So don't be too hard on yourself. *hugs*