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I am currently kind of miserable, only managing not to be miserable when adequately distracted.
On Friday night there was an IC party. It was vaguely cool, although I got very stressed beforehand because we were late and because I hadn't thought about eating beforehand and because I realised halfway there that I'd left Calico back in Churchill. (Calico is my stuffed toy rabbit which is an important part of the Silka costume: I had to replace him with one of Pufferfish's house's Killer Bunny Rabbits, which made for some amusing 'plot' anyway).
There was LARP weapons practice on Sunday, which we stumbled across while retrieving my bag from Churchill (where I'd accidentally left it after the IC party) after church. It was good, because I got to use a big polearm sword and learnt how to shoot a LARP bow (I was even managing to get the arrows in vaguely the right direction by the end of the practice). I am now very achy and have a big bruise where Nicholas discovered that he really couldn't pull his blows using the polearm-sword as a sword.
Most of the weekend was spent playing computer games. I finally managed to finish Diablo (normal difficulty), with an Assassin (who still had fifteen skill points left). I also played Battle Isle 1 for a bit, but the third mission was too hard for me :(.
I am currently feeling quite lost and adrift in general; I think it's been less than a year since I've had anything meaningful happen to / around me, but I've gone from 'My life is obviously over, having done everything I was put here for, and I'd like to die now please, I'm sorry about the people I'm leaving behind but I'm sure they'll cope' to feeling like I've gone off the end of the map - you know, like in those Sonic games where there was a big pillar at the end of the map but you could sometimes jump/fly over it, and then you were just falling and falling down the edge of the world until you suddenly discovered that you'd hit the bottom of the map and rotted away into nothingness. That's how I feel at the moment - like I can't tell how long I've been falling and whether I'm dead yet or not, but know that nothing good can come of my current situation, and that I'm just withering away until there's nothing left of me.
On Friday night there was an IC party. It was vaguely cool, although I got very stressed beforehand because we were late and because I hadn't thought about eating beforehand and because I realised halfway there that I'd left Calico back in Churchill. (Calico is my stuffed toy rabbit which is an important part of the Silka costume: I had to replace him with one of Pufferfish's house's Killer Bunny Rabbits, which made for some amusing 'plot' anyway).
There was LARP weapons practice on Sunday, which we stumbled across while retrieving my bag from Churchill (where I'd accidentally left it after the IC party) after church. It was good, because I got to use a big polearm sword and learnt how to shoot a LARP bow (I was even managing to get the arrows in vaguely the right direction by the end of the practice). I am now very achy and have a big bruise where Nicholas discovered that he really couldn't pull his blows using the polearm-sword as a sword.
Most of the weekend was spent playing computer games. I finally managed to finish Diablo (normal difficulty), with an Assassin (who still had fifteen skill points left). I also played Battle Isle 1 for a bit, but the third mission was too hard for me :(.
I am currently feeling quite lost and adrift in general; I think it's been less than a year since I've had anything meaningful happen to / around me, but I've gone from 'My life is obviously over, having done everything I was put here for, and I'd like to die now please, I'm sorry about the people I'm leaving behind but I'm sure they'll cope' to feeling like I've gone off the end of the map - you know, like in those Sonic games where there was a big pillar at the end of the map but you could sometimes jump/fly over it, and then you were just falling and falling down the edge of the world until you suddenly discovered that you'd hit the bottom of the map and rotted away into nothingness. That's how I feel at the moment - like I can't tell how long I've been falling and whether I'm dead yet or not, but know that nothing good can come of my current situation, and that I'm just withering away until there's nothing left of me.
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Date: 2005-09-20 10:38 pm (UTC)From:anyway... i'll butt out now. probably of more use is distraction: http://www.fat-pie.com , a website on which i have wasted many hours; wierd and melancholy but in a strangely uplifting way. And if that freaks you out there's always http://www.lordsoftherhymes.com to take the sting out of it (yes, it's years old and it STILL makes me tap my furry oversized feet!). good luck :)