chess | Today is officially a write-off.

I declare that I am far too ill to do anything but sit around and spod quietly (can't sleep lots, because of breathing difficulties, but I guess this is the next best thing). Mentally I'm still quite cheerful and active, but my body is informing me that this could also change if I drag around too much.

I wrote quite a long comment about how my memory works, which people might like to read:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/beckyc/157315.html?thread=811139#t811139

I think in three ways: pictures (as if I'm seeing them), concepts and train-of-thought.

My most vivid memory is stored in pictures; however, they are pretty much without context. I can just about dredge up a certain memory by thinking about something in it, but it's often easier to dredge up a familiar reference point and play it backwards or forwards until I get where I want to remember. Also, I cannot read anything in them; I can remember the layout of a textbook page, and the pictures, and the colours of the box-outs, but I can't read the text off them, although I can often remember that this page is about this concept so I can look it up quite efficiently. (I do the same thing with my Bible; I can remember how far through and what part of the page, and hence I can look stuff up.)

My second memory storage is in 'concepts' - they're not really tied to any physical representation. These are the things that I know if I'm asked a question. I know very little if I'm not asked a question; this can be awkward in conversation and in open-ended exam questions, because I remember stuff best if I'm asked a direct question, and simply can't rememeber things if I don't have the right question.

I do have a stream of consciousness which is basically a running monologue in words, with occasional support by pictures; I also have a soundtrack, which sometimes runs parallel and sometimes takes front.

I have a vivid imagination for pictures, and often suffer from 'reconstructive memory' - I'll remember something even though it didn't happen. This is particularly the case when I'm trying to find something; I'll remember putting it in every plausible place. Also, my dreams often show up in memory, to the point where I have to stop and ask myself 'did that *really* happen' on a fairly regular basis.

I have very little chronology to my memory; this might be why I'm an obsessive diarist, because I lose easy access to stretches of time if I don't give myself cues to remember it. Often I can only identify times by playing scenes backwards or forwards (sounds go in 'concept' storage) until I find an event that I can pin a time to.

I can remember strong smells/tastes (I find the two entirely interchangable) if I try hard enough, but I've never been able to identify scents of particular people with any regularity; I don't think my sense of smell is very good to begin with. I can imagine sensations (to the point where my dreams can be quite unpleasent, and sometimes I shudder and curl my fingers, or even dig my nails into my palms, to stop imagining and make it go away), but it seems to be a reconstructive rather than a memory thing.