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Slowly, daylight crept in... and I could see. And something else had changed inside of me.

I have not done any of the work for tomorrow. I have not finished giving out gospels. I have not had a shower for too long. I have not had enough sleep. I seem to be collecting enough angst to out-mope a roomful of goths. If I push myself much further, I think I might break.

(I already have a plethora of offers of help, thanks. I'm tired, and ill, and just keep going. I don't seriously think that I will break, but I feel stretched to breaking point; I want to claw out my eyeballs and howl at the moon. The moon is a crescent and I doubt it will cast a shadow. I need a break, but I'm not going to give myself one, and people advocating it will just make everything even more unbearable. I didn't eat tea tonight, but I ate about seven hot-dogs. I'm sure this post was much more effective before I started rambling.)
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Michelle Taylor

January 2025

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