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"Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try." -- Homer Simpson.
I can't see how attempting to screw over my head with these stupid STEP papers is meant to be *good* for me. It just makes me want to *cry*. And swear a lot, too.
I mean, I can do some of STEP II now, but STEP III is just completely impossible; not only have I just not been taught half of it, it requires these massive streams of algebra that make my brain trickle out of my ears. But I seem to be incapable of saying 'Screw this, I'll go to York' because things from Cam keep wandering through my mind and saying 'I'm not only better, I'm *righter* than York, so ner'. Also the 'you're just being lazy and you should quit procrastinating and just stare at the page writing random junk for hours' monkeys are alive and well.
I could handle STEP II because it took stuff from, like, P2 and P3 and made it harder, but I understood the stuff from P2 and P3 so it was okay. STEP III takes the stuff from P5 and P6 and makes it harder, and I didn't understand them in the first place; I can just about barely do enough to answer A-level questions on them, and I get stuck on those some of the time. Which leads to me eating too much chocolate and writing whiny LJ entries about how horrible it is to actually have to do some work for once.
I just feel like I'm going to have a complete nervous breakdown if I put myself through much more of this, though, and that's not going to help anything.
I can't see how attempting to screw over my head with these stupid STEP papers is meant to be *good* for me. It just makes me want to *cry*. And swear a lot, too.
I mean, I can do some of STEP II now, but STEP III is just completely impossible; not only have I just not been taught half of it, it requires these massive streams of algebra that make my brain trickle out of my ears. But I seem to be incapable of saying 'Screw this, I'll go to York' because things from Cam keep wandering through my mind and saying 'I'm not only better, I'm *righter* than York, so ner'. Also the 'you're just being lazy and you should quit procrastinating and just stare at the page writing random junk for hours' monkeys are alive and well.
I could handle STEP II because it took stuff from, like, P2 and P3 and made it harder, but I understood the stuff from P2 and P3 so it was okay. STEP III takes the stuff from P5 and P6 and makes it harder, and I didn't understand them in the first place; I can just about barely do enough to answer A-level questions on them, and I get stuck on those some of the time. Which leads to me eating too much chocolate and writing whiny LJ entries about how horrible it is to actually have to do some work for once.
I just feel like I'm going to have a complete nervous breakdown if I put myself through much more of this, though, and that's not going to help anything.
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no subject
Date: 2003-05-24 08:11 am (UTC)From:But you have to make the choise. I would take the easy rout out but them im lasy.
Whats right for you? Do you want to go to cam? is it even any of my buisness?
Does any of this make any scence outside my brain where i thought it up and is it in any way incourge-ing?
Take care
no subject
Date: 2003-05-24 08:49 am (UTC)From:What would make me (short-term, at least) happier is to forget the STEP papers, go to York, and be lazy
It's your buisiness because I keep whining about it in your general direction :). I don't have the right to say it's none of anyone's buisiness when I whine about it publically...
Yes, it does make sense. Thank you.
Re:
Date: 2003-05-24 08:54 am (UTC)From:Thanks that makes me feel better. Not only are my rambleings making scence to people but they are wanted rambleings.
Good luck with the step stuff and all the other (test / evaluation of performan)cy'ness
Take care ;-)