(no subject)

So, today I woke up (at about 4am) with The Cold Of Doom. Having taken far too much Night Nurse, which is a really good way to knock yourself out and incidentally something of a cold remedy, I then failed to wake up until 11am, with my throat attempting to claw its way out. This would explain the headache that wouldn't go away and my woefully erratic behaviour, and also the unnaturally large amount of sleepiness.

I have a ton of work to do, which is all the tricky or awkward bits that I've been putting off, and now my head is stuffed full of cotton wool. Oh well. (I suspect I have to think about packing at some point, too, which is always awkward.)

(no subject)

Mnh. I did a Review of the Year post, and I posted it. It isn't up, and neither is it saved anywhere. Also, I am ill and miserable and reading http://www.brunostrip.com/ from the beginning again to ensure I stay that way. I think I'm overheated and dehydrated as well. And my hair's a mess, which always helps me feel worse. Of course, given that my head is full of cotton wool, I can't manage much more than 'blank', but never mind.

Also, there seems to be rather large quantities of work that I haven't done and currently the way I can hardly read without serious mental effort doesn't encourage me to be optimistic about my ability to do said work. I could get other people to do the work and/or copy the answer sheet for half of it, but apart from avoiding trouble I'm not sure I can see any benefit in doing that over just asking my supervisors what on earth they were going on about when I get back.

My room is full of small stuffed animals staring reproachfully at me.

(no subject)

I feel like I could do with curling up and dying for a week or so, but I appear to have the grand total of two days left to do all my work and pack, having entirely wasted today. Did I mention yet that I hate being ill?

Also, sitting around makes me want to kill things. This is rather counter-productive. I know several ways to solve the problem, none of which I'm implementing, because I'm also feeling particularly stupid and self-destructive. People who are inclined to worry would do well to remember that I'm busily fighting off uncounted millions of stupid little virii and hence am not capable of intelligent thought currently, or indeed that much action, and am liable to just sit around whining rather than actually doing anything of any description.

I have spent all day playing stupid computer games and reading webcomics. Now I ought to go and eat something and get an early night, so I have a fighting chance of being at least vaguely functional tomorrow. The chances of these things happening are, naturally, slim to none. Most likely I will sit here until my parents come and worry at me, making everyone optimally upset and stressed, and continue reading the most depressing webcomics I can find until, mm, about midnight, generally. At which point I'll have pretty much guaranteed I'm good for nothing tomorrow as well, along with failing to take my last oppertunity to get to church here (and hence find out how the 8-10s party went in my absence, etc).

I'm not thoroughly useless; I'm just spending a week dead for reasons of virus-induced incapacity. It would have been more useful if I had a week spare for such, that's all.

(no subject)

Tonight is Livejournal Spam Night. Don't you feel honoured?

I don't appear to be getting any comments to reply to, and although technically I could talk to people over MSN, I feel tremendously incapable of being bothered. The thing with conversations is that I actually have to have something to say, and also I have to talk to specific people. This way I can just talk to people in general, which is ever so much less threatening.

I do wish my internal voice would stop swearing so much. It gets irritating. Not to mention the sheer unoriginality of it. I've always thought that if you have to curse, you ought to do so in an inventive way, rather than just a set of tired old words that everybody uses. I'm not entirely sure what I have against swearing, but it annoys me all the same - I suppose it's just that it's rather unnecessary and jarring. (It's even in the LJ moods list, muttergrumble.)

I probably should not sit and LJ-post a bunch when tired and ill, but I don't tend to have much other downtime. The signal-to-whine ratio in 2003, discovered when doing my Review of the Year post that was lost, was quite abysmal, and 2004 looks set to go the same way.

I am enjoying myself. Honest. I just have a strange way of showing it.

(no subject)

Some more surreal writing:
http://www.livejournal.com/community/thetendermuse/56655.html

Yes, I might be feeling the tiniest bit surreal tonight.

( Lovely and disturbing. Do not read whilst eating. )

It is winter in the forest, and there is frost upon the planes;
each blade of grass is frosted as a little candy cane.
It is winter in the forest, where the cruel winds do blow,
and the creatures there do huddle, and wait upon the snow.

It is winter in the forest, and I would not take you there;
there is frost upon her eyelashes and ice all in her hair.
It is winter in the forest, and you do not wish to know;
it is winter in the forest, and 'tis not a place to go.

It is winter in the forest, and the shadows bide their time,
as the leaves turn into soil and she fails to find a rhyme.
It is winter in the forest, and it is not safe to be,
it is not safe in the forest, it is not safe here with me.

It is winter in the forest, as she treads the lonely trail,
and shelters under branches from the sleet and from the hail;
it is winter in the forest, and no place is to be found
where a cold and tired stranger can sleep warm, safe and sound.

It is winter in the forest, and I don't think that you see,
that it is not safe in the forest, and it is not safe here with me.
It is not safe in the forest, it is not a place to be,
and you should not tread this trail, and you should turn and flee.