(no subject)

Something that came out of the discussion about meeting people:

I think one of the reasons I'm quite so scared of meeting people is that I'm not very good with confrontations. I tend to just go along with things rather too much, when I'm with people who I want to be/stay friends with. I'm rather insecure and I think that if I argue or say 'no' about stuff, then people will not like me any more; but even when there isn't really this motivation, I just find it very hard to *say* things to people that might annoy them, even when it's really quite important to communicate how I feel.

So I feel that because of this, I'm probably in more danger than most people, because I can end up being uncomfortable with perfectly reasonable people because I can't express properly that they're making me feel uncomfortable and why.

(Plus, I don't meet many people. And I'm scared of the random people on the street when I do go out, too. And crowds make me panic, especially if there are people around my age and a bit older in them.)

(no subject)

The mock interview was as pointless and useless as predicted. I knew it was going to be bad when the interviewers admitted in the first minute that they didn't know much about computers. They seemed to think that I'd want to be a secondary school teacher if I couldn't be a university lecturer, and kept asking me odd questions about teaching classes. They also asked me about current events, so I got to hold forth on why America should at the very least work out why it wants to bomb Iraq before doing so, and how I think the exam board were correct in the A-level fiasco and it's only because of media pressure that the govt have suddenly decided that they wanted something different to happen. I do think I'm good at spouting opinions with only a tenuous grasph of the relevant facts, if that.

I don't like writing LJ entries that are just one big paragraph, but over half of that paragraph is just one sentance, and the first bit looks silly on its own.

(no subject)

I forgot to mention the most important event of today.

My mobile phone has been brokened for about a month now. In the last week or so it's been very brokened. The phone itself is fine, but the screen was mostly showing straight horizontal black lines, going bright blue when the phone actually rang. This hasn't been too much of a problem, as I've only needed to call my home number, and I know that so I can just type it in and hence it doesn't matter that I can't see what I'm doing, because I don't need to use the phone menu.

Today, having completely forgotten that phonebrokenedness would make this rather difficult, I was meant to call my dad's mobile after the mock-interview-thing so he'd know to come and get me (or at least tell me where he was parked if it wasn't too far away). I don't know that number, and I don't have it noted down anywhere that I carry with me apart from my phone memory. Which I wouldn't be able to access with phonebrokenedness because of not being able to see the phone menu to select the address book option.

I turned the phone on to let Melody call, and I got the code wrong the first time, and I panicked because I couldn't read the screen and see what I was doing, so I switched it off again. And when I switched it on again, it was unbrokened! Everything showed up fine on the screen again as it had before! So I got the code right and let Melody call her parents, and then later I could call my dad without any problems at all.

I only realised that there could have been a problem when on the way home my dad asked me how I'd managed to get his number without being able to see the screen on my phone.

Given that there's no other discernable reason why my phone should suddenly start working precisely when I really, really needed it to (especially since we tried to fix it the other day and failed), I think this pretty much qualifies as a miracle, although it's one of those small ones which people who aren't looking for such things could easily write off as coincidence. I love my God.