(no subject)

[chess]

Something that came out of the discussion about meeting people:

I think one of the reasons I'm quite so scared of meeting people is that I'm not very good with confrontations. I tend to just go along with things rather too much, when I'm with people who I want to be/stay friends with. I'm rather insecure and I think that if I argue or say 'no' about stuff, then people will not like me any more; but even when there isn't really this motivation, I just find it very hard to *say* things to people that might annoy them, even when it's really quite important to communicate how I feel.

So I feel that because of this, I'm probably in more danger than most people, because I can end up being uncomfortable with perfectly reasonable people because I can't express properly that they're making me feel uncomfortable and why.

(Plus, I don't meet many people. And I'm scared of the random people on the street when I do go out, too. And crowds make me panic, especially if there are people around my age and a bit older in them.)

Comments

[jaq.livejournal.com]

Not suggesting you rush out and do things you don't want to do, but I would suggest that confrontations are a life skill it would be useful for you to learn, and the way to learn is to try it (Not that I could claim to be much good at them either).

[I've been trying to remember what I was like at your age, for comparison, but the trouble is while I can remember things that I did or that happened, I can't really remember how I felt, it's been covered over by how I feel now. What naath said struck a chord though: I can remember several times when I was out with friends/acquaintances and just got up and left without saying anything because I felt uncomfortable.]

[haggis.livejournal.com]

And crowds make me panic, especially if there are people around my age and a bit older in them

I feel the same. Of all the different age groups I've worked with, it's people of my own age who make me most uncomfortable.

As for the other stuff, try not to worry about it too much - it makes it into more of an issue. Some times you want to move out, into unexplored places and relationships, at other times, you need to withdraw to where you feel safe and regroup your strength. It sounds like you've had a tough summer. Be kind to yourself.