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I haven't written in here ((where 'here' = the file on my Psion I rant in)) for almost forever. I'd forgotten the worry in the last entry; it pales in comparison to the more obvious and immediate worries.
Like:
1. I'm going to fail Further Maths (where fail = get a B). It just doesn't come naturally to me, and if it doesn't come naturally to me, I'll have to work on understanding it, and I'll be trying so hard to understand it I won't have any try left to eliminate the litle algebra/arithmatic mistakes that always creep up and mug me.
2. I went to Cambridge, where I saw quite a selection of guys, and felt attracted to precisely zero of them. Including Marnanel. Some of the girls looked quite acceptably pretty. This kind of thing unnerves me.
3. Churchill is miles from anywhere. I am stupid for having applied there without being able to ride a bicycle. If I get in (see point 1), I will spend most of my student existance getting up at 5am, or I'll have to spend far too much on busses. This is decidedly sub-optimal.
4. I was going to edit that last point to increase the word count. NaNoWriMo is evil. Then again, if I wasn't doing that I'd just be a) playing an awful lot of Adder or Nethack, or b) writing a lot more whiny garbage like this. Neither of which is particularly more useful. Then again, my life isn't particularly useful at the moment. I even decrease the nebulous 'happyness I bring to others' score by posting whiny rubbish on LJ too much.
5. I definately have some kind of problem with God, but I haven't quite worked out what it is yet. Either consequenctially or causationally I haven't been spending anywhere near enough time 'with Him' (praying, which I don't seem to be able to do alone but also don't seem to be able to express aloud in a group any longer due to the heavy visual component that keeps coming into it, or reading the Bible (or Bible notes), or even singing worship songs even though they make me feel better unlike most of the other music I've been singing today which just makes me want to cry).
Like:
1. I'm going to fail Further Maths (where fail = get a B). It just doesn't come naturally to me, and if it doesn't come naturally to me, I'll have to work on understanding it, and I'll be trying so hard to understand it I won't have any try left to eliminate the litle algebra/arithmatic mistakes that always creep up and mug me.
2. I went to Cambridge, where I saw quite a selection of guys, and felt attracted to precisely zero of them. Including Marnanel. Some of the girls looked quite acceptably pretty. This kind of thing unnerves me.
3. Churchill is miles from anywhere. I am stupid for having applied there without being able to ride a bicycle. If I get in (see point 1), I will spend most of my student existance getting up at 5am, or I'll have to spend far too much on busses. This is decidedly sub-optimal.
4. I was going to edit that last point to increase the word count. NaNoWriMo is evil. Then again, if I wasn't doing that I'd just be a) playing an awful lot of Adder or Nethack, or b) writing a lot more whiny garbage like this. Neither of which is particularly more useful. Then again, my life isn't particularly useful at the moment. I even decrease the nebulous 'happyness I bring to others' score by posting whiny rubbish on LJ too much.
5. I definately have some kind of problem with God, but I haven't quite worked out what it is yet. Either consequenctially or causationally I haven't been spending anywhere near enough time 'with Him' (praying, which I don't seem to be able to do alone but also don't seem to be able to express aloud in a group any longer due to the heavy visual component that keeps coming into it, or reading the Bible (or Bible notes), or even singing worship songs even though they make me feel better unlike most of the other music I've been singing today which just makes me want to cry).
