Today is Pink Day.

[chess]

Callie's having a field day. 'Want! Want!' is a common theme - from bright pink feather boas to tie-dye purple and blue and pink shirts to fairie wings. Wandering Star isn't so happy, though; she's glad I've gone into hiding in the Pod. The lock on the locker just opposite us is pink, though, and there's another two which are blue and pink a little further down; and of course, I'm wearing pink, although a significantly less bright pink than most people, and the jeans border on purple.

I've done quite a lot of the graphics for the next stage of my website, which will partially explain what I'm going on about when I say 'Callie' or 'Wandering Star'. You may have got the idea from when I went through my userpics, though. Tonight we're off to the RI again - during a tube strike! My parents are driving into London during a tube strike! We never claimed to be sensible, after all.

I'm in full-blown see-saw mode at the moment - one moment I'm bouncing around with a desperate happiness bordering on hysteria, the next I'll be dragging my feet and wondering why I don't just go to sleep and not bother waking up again. I think there's some kind of virus eating me (I keep getting headaches and sore throats and sneezes, but nothing conclusive enough to say 'this is a cold'), which could be the trigger cause of this.

I've also been trying to redraft Kestra thoroughly, but although I've dealt with some of the major characterisation/plot atrocities and most of the sentances that deserved to be taken out and shot, I'm still beginning to believe that it's just incurably sucky. Then again, so is the Haylar I drew, and the horrible fantasy guck that I keep trying to write.

Ah well, maybe I'll learn how to write again someday.

Comments

[jaq.livejournal.com]

You're always pink in my journal :-)

[naath.livejournal.com]

ah, yes, Pink day. Mother refused to wear my lovely pink skirt and told me that my only pink shirt is purple (soooo not), she ended up with my pink sweater...

*huggles*

hmm, I can't write either, not a problem... write badly!

[phlebas.livejournal.com]

I thought the whole point of Haylar was that you thought it was bad and we loved it anyway?

[haggis.livejournal.com]

I know in my experience, my assessment of my abilities depends a lot on how happy I'm feeling about myself. You seem really down on yourself atm. This might be making you super-critical of your abilities.

Last summer, I had very low confidence as a result of a difficult work placement. Over the year, I've had to convince myself that there are good things about me. If I hadn't, I probably wouldn't have got a job or I would be gibbering in the corner, hoping nobody noticed me!

Have you tried talking to God about it? I'm serious, I used to find discussing all the thoughts in my head with God helped me achieve a balanced view. You know He knows you inside out - you can't pretend you're better than you are. But He also thinks you're wonderful, you're His beloved child and He won't let you beat yourself up unnecessarily. And He has enough time to listen to the most trivial stuff too.