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Ugh. I feel like having an extended whining session about something, but I'm not sure what. I have two prime contenders, but neither of them are making it particularly easy for me to write them.
One is your straightforward 'look, see how much I suck' whine. The specific subject matter for it is interviews; specifically, the fact I'm being a total stressbunny (bursting into tears every five minutes, hand-flacking, words-all-rushing-out-at-once, not being able to do anything right, the full works) over the *mock interview*. Yes, that's right, the thing that's meant to build my confidence and that doesn't make a *blind bit of difference* to *anything*. And yet, here I am getting so stressed I need to write a whiny entry about it. Did I mention I suck yet?
The second one is a serious subject that really deserves significantly better treatment than this, and I might re-write it up another day if I don't get the response I'm looking for from this post because everyone stopped reading when I said I was going to be whiny. The issue is - how do you decide when you can trust someone? The reason this issue has come up (and the context I mean 'trust' in) is because I'm flat out of nearby ScaryFriends (ScaryFriends in this context means people I can trust enough to take as insurance against random people I'm meeting for the first time turning out to be MadAxeMurderers or suchlike. e.g.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
naath, sath, passage. I suspect quite a few other XF-people would do as well.) and hence I can't meet up with dr_vannacutt and his friend in Chelmsford.
However, I have metdr_vannacutt IRL before. Which raises the question - how much do you need to know someone before they can be accepted as trustworthy? (This doesn't, of course, include naturally or selectively untrustworthy people; for instance, I trust enchantedmelody significantly less far than I can probably throw her in this particular catagory of trust, because she's as good as said that her idea of self-defence is to point me at the threatening person, and also because despite the amount of time I've spent with her I still don't think I actually know her, or at least not the her I suspect she is on her own territory.) Some examples of my faliure to be sensible about this: the sheer amount of panic that this guy *who I'd known IRL for a whole year, who had never seemed anything other than reasonable and sensible and generally not MadAxeMurdererIsh* giving me a lift home caused - but I happily got into the car just yesterday with the lab tech from school who I've never exchanged more than two words with in the past when she offered me a lift.
A less rambly summation of the problem: now I've metjaq and he doesn't seem particularly untrustworthy, why does it still not feel like it'd be sensible to go visit him without one of the ScaryFriends along, and why do I feel that they're any more trustworthy? dr_vannacutt also seems like a rational human being, and a pretty nice one at that, so why do alarm bells start ringing in the 'you're *so* stupid if you even think about this' catagory when I think of meeting up with him and his friend in Chelmsford for lunch? marble seems quite definately harmless and nice, but still the 'that would just be *dumb*' flags wave when I think about just randomly visiting him without backup of some description. And as I said, I'm just about plain out of backup over here, and I'm not quite sure what the procedure is for recruiting new backup, given that the criterea has either been 'same age and gender, been around them every day for months on end' or 'responsible Christian type person' (and mostly 'and has been cleared to be on a SU team too'), and neither of those seem to be likely to be good rules for the future, especially unless I want to be very limited socially.
That was quite rambly too, actually, but I think you've got the idea. I'm interested in your opinions - what's the line you'd draw between a stupid situation to put yourself into and a sensible, reasonable hardly-a-risk-at-all thing which people have to do if they're to make life work (like crossing the road)?
One is your straightforward 'look, see how much I suck' whine. The specific subject matter for it is interviews; specifically, the fact I'm being a total stressbunny (bursting into tears every five minutes, hand-flacking, words-all-rushing-out-at-once, not being able to do anything right, the full works) over the *mock interview*. Yes, that's right, the thing that's meant to build my confidence and that doesn't make a *blind bit of difference* to *anything*. And yet, here I am getting so stressed I need to write a whiny entry about it. Did I mention I suck yet?
The second one is a serious subject that really deserves significantly better treatment than this, and I might re-write it up another day if I don't get the response I'm looking for from this post because everyone stopped reading when I said I was going to be whiny. The issue is - how do you decide when you can trust someone? The reason this issue has come up (and the context I mean 'trust' in) is because I'm flat out of nearby ScaryFriends (ScaryFriends in this context means people I can trust enough to take as insurance against random people I'm meeting for the first time turning out to be MadAxeMurderers or suchlike. e.g.
naath, sath, passage. I suspect quite a few other XF-people would do as well.) and hence I can't meet up with dr_vannacutt and his friend in Chelmsford.However, I have met
dr_vannacutt IRL before. Which raises the question - how much do you need to know someone before they can be accepted as trustworthy? (This doesn't, of course, include naturally or selectively untrustworthy people; for instance, I trust enchantedmelody significantly less far than I can probably throw her in this particular catagory of trust, because she's as good as said that her idea of self-defence is to point me at the threatening person, and also because despite the amount of time I've spent with her I still don't think I actually know her, or at least not the her I suspect she is on her own territory.) Some examples of my faliure to be sensible about this: the sheer amount of panic that this guy *who I'd known IRL for a whole year, who had never seemed anything other than reasonable and sensible and generally not MadAxeMurdererIsh* giving me a lift home caused - but I happily got into the car just yesterday with the lab tech from school who I've never exchanged more than two words with in the past when she offered me a lift.A less rambly summation of the problem: now I've met
jaq and he doesn't seem particularly untrustworthy, why does it still not feel like it'd be sensible to go visit him without one of the ScaryFriends along, and why do I feel that they're any more trustworthy? dr_vannacutt also seems like a rational human being, and a pretty nice one at that, so why do alarm bells start ringing in the 'you're *so* stupid if you even think about this' catagory when I think of meeting up with him and his friend in Chelmsford for lunch? marble seems quite definately harmless and nice, but still the 'that would just be *dumb*' flags wave when I think about just randomly visiting him without backup of some description. And as I said, I'm just about plain out of backup over here, and I'm not quite sure what the procedure is for recruiting new backup, given that the criterea has either been 'same age and gender, been around them every day for months on end' or 'responsible Christian type person' (and mostly 'and has been cleared to be on a SU team too'), and neither of those seem to be likely to be good rules for the future, especially unless I want to be very limited socially.That was quite rambly too, actually, but I think you've got the idea. I'm interested in your opinions - what's the line you'd draw between a stupid situation to put yourself into and a sensible, reasonable hardly-a-risk-at-all thing which people have to do if they're to make life work (like crossing the road)?
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Date: 2002-09-28 06:42 am (UTC)From:Neil