(no subject)

[chess]

from http://totl.net/VirusScanner/

BBCB (190%)
CTRL-Break, and get a real computer. Repeat: "Mode 7 was not a good thing."
((Hey, no fair. I was brought up on this stuff, courtesy of my primary school...))
Sci-fi (180%)
Stop wearing the stick-on ears.
((Aww, but they're *pwetty*...))
Politics (170%)
Stop caring!
((Nah, whining's much more fun!))
8-Bit (150%)
Polygons, all the polygons you can get are not enough.
((Pah, polygons. What about gameplay?!))
Conspiracy Theory (138%)
Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that's quite scary.
((Yeah, see 'politics'!))
TotL (135%)
Go read Brunching
((I read that too, when someone reminds me of it...))
Computer Games (135%)
Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.
((Thumbs? I play full-keyboard games!))
Discordia (130%)
Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday.
((It's all, uh, someone else's fault. Yeah.))
British (110%)
No need for cure. Benign virus.
((Benign, huh? Nooo!))
Free BSD (110%)
The GPL isn't that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo.
((Tis slashdot's fault I recognised this...))
Junkfood (105%)
Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.
((Hey, I only eat McCardboard when the people I'm with want to, or if I'm chronically short of cash))
Pokemon (101%)
Pikachu! Use your hyper-electric-get-a-life move now!
((Okay, okay, so I *might* have played the Gameboy game a little too much, despite not even having a Gameboy...))
Linux (100%)
Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.
((Step one is certainly done, step two is more difficult...))
Religion (100%)
Read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)
Windows (100%)
Try MacOS X. It's based on UNIX, it has a smoother UI than Windows and it doesn't suck.
As an extra feature the boxes look nice.
((Butbutbut, it runs on *Macs*!))

Viruses you might suffer from:

Brand Names (95%)
Having a well-known name doesn't make it good.
((No, but it does make it well-advertised.))
Japan (90%)
Big is good. Small is bad. Giant robots would not make a good last line of defence for Earth.
((Whyever not?))
UNIX (90%)
Anything this old must be obselete. Go and install a nice modern operating system. I hear MSDOS has come a long way lately.
((Character prompts pretty!))
USA (80%)
Rule, Britannia! Britannia rules the waves. [repeat]
((UGH! *dies*))
Gaming (70%)
Life is not a game. Roll 3D6. On a 4 or more go out and do something with your life.
((rolls a 1. Dice unfurls a little flag which reads 'fnord'.))
Hippyism (68%)
Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.
((I quite agree.))
Environmentalism (63%)
Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.
((Especially when Tescos refuse to sell recycled kitchen roll any more. Bah.))
Prog Rock (60%)
Long hair looks dumb with a bald spot. Listen to CD's they don't crackle.
((Oi, this one's entirely my dad's fault.))
Southampton (84%)
Move to the Isle of Wight.
((Uhm...))