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So, currently I'm sitting at my computer, failing miserably to do a question sheet on Stuff I Can't Get My Head Around, listening to the most depressing music I can locate. Never let it be said that I'm not a complete moron.
Despite this, I'm just kind of blank, even quite content, not actually in any way miserable. Which is somewhat surprising.
I keep meaning to have a go at the 2003 meme, but I fail to remember any of 2003 except the last term. I probably could remind myself through LJ, but that would be some serious procrastination, rather than a minor distraction. I mean, things like my first XF as team were in 2003 too, and my A-levels, and everything else that seems like a lifetime ago.
I think I prefer the format of this meme, which I did on Jan 1st 2003:
Five things that 2003 taught me:
* I am not, quite, as stupid as I thought I was.
* I'm capable of being quite capable if I put my mind to it.
* Trusting in God works, and I should try it more often.
* Sometimes you have to plow fields for a decade or two before you get to move on.
* The vast majority of my bad moods have physical, rather than mental or emotional, causes.
Five personally significant events of 2003:
* First XF as team. Didn't curl up and die, which I feel was a tremendous achievement.
* Passed my driving test first time, and subsequantly got to drive around the country a bit, and be helpful at the CU houseparty.
* Went to Forever's Destiny (LARP) and had lots of fun.
* Them little things called A-level results, although personally I thought the fact I managed to spend hours in the pub with people from school and be generally feted for being me and that Miranda signed my little memories-book (and the people who used to pick on me in Y7 practically *demanded* to) were all rather more significant than the actual results.
* Oh, and this little going-to-Cambridge thing. As it *hasn't been that much of 2003, dammit* I'll leave this fifth entry to stand in for the whole set of 'personally significant events' in my first term.
Five things I want to do in 2004:
* Do too much, in general.
* Go to XF as team again.
* Look after myself sufficiently to remain on a relatively even keel.
* Maybe vaguely keep on top of the work in maths this time, instead of ignoring it completely.
* *insert trite-sounding but really quite important Christian stuff here*
Five things I don't want to do in 2004:
* Fail my exams miserably.
* Have a happily self-induced nervous breakdown.
* Spontaneously combust. (Mostly for the sake of my surroundings and the general scientific awkwardness of it all than because I'm particularly concerned about dying. It seemed like an amusing addition to the list, anyhow.)
* Turn into Ewan.
* Lose any of the ground I've taken in the last year.
Five things I wanted to do in 2003:
* Get into Cambridge. (This is Not Going To Happen, due to Failing P4, but it's nice to dream.)
Surprisingly enough, I was wrong about the 'not going to happen' part. I did get a B in P4 though, which counts as Failing in the circumstances, but still.
* Find God again. (I *know* You're out there somewhere...)
I think I've just about got this one covered, especially throughout this term. *smiles*
* Drink enough water and eat enough fruit.
The first turned out to be not only more important but eminently more manageble than the second, which I don't think I did too badly on but certainly not as well as I could have had I really put my mind to it.
* Convince my mother that I won't die of starvation/never wash/stay in my room all the time at Uni.
This one worked out quite well, I think.
* Express myself more.
Gosh, that's hopelessly vague. I'll return to my normal answer of 'Which one of me do you mean, then?'.
Five things I didn't want to do in 2003:
* Die. (Yes, really. For once I don't want to die. This is actually quite a change for me. I'm not sure it's an entirely positive one.)
I've managed this one so far, with mostly positive results I should hope. It's not something I'm particularly bothered about any more, which is somewhat useful, and usually a good sign.
* Hurt anyone. (This also isn't going to happen, but it's nice to dream.)
I suspect this ought to be on my 'things not to do in 2004' list, too, but I feel it's a bit lame, really. Especially because it's one of the things I have trouble with; that sometimes you *have* to hurt people in order to avoid hurting them more later.
* Spend too much time at a computer screen.
Uhm. Moving swiftly on...
* Worry and beat myself up over spending too much time at a computer screen (or whatever my Useless Thing Of The Day is).
Ah, that's more like it. Although I still did this for the vast majority of the year, I do believe.
* Be ashamed of being me, afraid of failure, or willing to conform just to make things easier even if I don't / am not something normal.
I seem to have currently avoided this one, which is quite useful.
Despite this, I'm just kind of blank, even quite content, not actually in any way miserable. Which is somewhat surprising.
I keep meaning to have a go at the 2003 meme, but I fail to remember any of 2003 except the last term. I probably could remind myself through LJ, but that would be some serious procrastination, rather than a minor distraction. I mean, things like my first XF as team were in 2003 too, and my A-levels, and everything else that seems like a lifetime ago.
I think I prefer the format of this meme, which I did on Jan 1st 2003:
Five things that 2003 taught me:
* I am not, quite, as stupid as I thought I was.
* I'm capable of being quite capable if I put my mind to it.
* Trusting in God works, and I should try it more often.
* Sometimes you have to plow fields for a decade or two before you get to move on.
* The vast majority of my bad moods have physical, rather than mental or emotional, causes.
Five personally significant events of 2003:
* First XF as team. Didn't curl up and die, which I feel was a tremendous achievement.
* Passed my driving test first time, and subsequantly got to drive around the country a bit, and be helpful at the CU houseparty.
* Went to Forever's Destiny (LARP) and had lots of fun.
* Them little things called A-level results, although personally I thought the fact I managed to spend hours in the pub with people from school and be generally feted for being me and that Miranda signed my little memories-book (and the people who used to pick on me in Y7 practically *demanded* to) were all rather more significant than the actual results.
* Oh, and this little going-to-Cambridge thing. As it *hasn't been that much of 2003, dammit* I'll leave this fifth entry to stand in for the whole set of 'personally significant events' in my first term.
Five things I want to do in 2004:
* Do too much, in general.
* Go to XF as team again.
* Look after myself sufficiently to remain on a relatively even keel.
* Maybe vaguely keep on top of the work in maths this time, instead of ignoring it completely.
* *insert trite-sounding but really quite important Christian stuff here*
Five things I don't want to do in 2004:
* Fail my exams miserably.
* Have a happily self-induced nervous breakdown.
* Spontaneously combust. (Mostly for the sake of my surroundings and the general scientific awkwardness of it all than because I'm particularly concerned about dying. It seemed like an amusing addition to the list, anyhow.)
* Turn into Ewan.
* Lose any of the ground I've taken in the last year.
Five things I wanted to do in 2003:
* Get into Cambridge. (This is Not Going To Happen, due to Failing P4, but it's nice to dream.)
Surprisingly enough, I was wrong about the 'not going to happen' part. I did get a B in P4 though, which counts as Failing in the circumstances, but still.
* Find God again. (I *know* You're out there somewhere...)
I think I've just about got this one covered, especially throughout this term. *smiles*
* Drink enough water and eat enough fruit.
The first turned out to be not only more important but eminently more manageble than the second, which I don't think I did too badly on but certainly not as well as I could have had I really put my mind to it.
* Convince my mother that I won't die of starvation/never wash/stay in my room all the time at Uni.
This one worked out quite well, I think.
* Express myself more.
Gosh, that's hopelessly vague. I'll return to my normal answer of 'Which one of me do you mean, then?'.
Five things I didn't want to do in 2003:
* Die. (Yes, really. For once I don't want to die. This is actually quite a change for me. I'm not sure it's an entirely positive one.)
I've managed this one so far, with mostly positive results I should hope. It's not something I'm particularly bothered about any more, which is somewhat useful, and usually a good sign.
* Hurt anyone. (This also isn't going to happen, but it's nice to dream.)
I suspect this ought to be on my 'things not to do in 2004' list, too, but I feel it's a bit lame, really. Especially because it's one of the things I have trouble with; that sometimes you *have* to hurt people in order to avoid hurting them more later.
* Spend too much time at a computer screen.
Uhm. Moving swiftly on...
* Worry and beat myself up over spending too much time at a computer screen (or whatever my Useless Thing Of The Day is).
Ah, that's more like it. Although I still did this for the vast majority of the year, I do believe.
* Be ashamed of being me, afraid of failure, or willing to conform just to make things easier even if I don't / am not something normal.
I seem to have currently avoided this one, which is quite useful.
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Date: 2003-12-24 02:26 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2003-12-25 01:13 am (UTC)From: