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Today, I just about managed to get some shopping. I almost didn't make it back from town. (I forced myself to keep walking, but I almost stopped, and I'm not sure I could have started again if I had.)
I've just re-read my email and worked out that Fusion was early and I've missed half of it. I'm not sure I have the heart to show up late, and Edith said he'd show up here sometime. Sometime about fifteen minutes ago. He hasn't.
None of these things adequately explain why I'm quite so hopelessly depressed, which has been going on for ages now - pretty much since lectures ended, in fact. I could blame the first half on PMT but now my period has started and I'm still depressed. (Mostly in the 'no motivation, can't understand anything, can't get together the willpower to do anything' sense, although right now I'm tearful and with this dreadful sense of despair, too.)
I was in two minds about posting this because I always feel bad when I use LJ to whine, even if I am depressed to the point of not being able to get on with life and almost breaking down every time I try to get on with it, because I feel I'm bringing other people down when there's nothing they can do about it. But I'm not sure what to do about this (I'm hoping that it's just some crazy manifestation of exam stress and it will go away when I've helpfully failed them and can get down to my nice, planned and scheduled May Week partying), and writing a whiny LJ entry seems slightly more productive than sitting here crying because I don't have the strength to get out of my room and walk across the courtyard to where my Cell group are eating pizza, or phone Edith and ask what's happening (he probably went to see Requiem first, got sidetracked, and is now in Hall).
I've just re-read my email and worked out that Fusion was early and I've missed half of it. I'm not sure I have the heart to show up late, and Edith said he'd show up here sometime. Sometime about fifteen minutes ago. He hasn't.
None of these things adequately explain why I'm quite so hopelessly depressed, which has been going on for ages now - pretty much since lectures ended, in fact. I could blame the first half on PMT but now my period has started and I'm still depressed. (Mostly in the 'no motivation, can't understand anything, can't get together the willpower to do anything' sense, although right now I'm tearful and with this dreadful sense of despair, too.)
I was in two minds about posting this because I always feel bad when I use LJ to whine, even if I am depressed to the point of not being able to get on with life and almost breaking down every time I try to get on with it, because I feel I'm bringing other people down when there's nothing they can do about it. But I'm not sure what to do about this (I'm hoping that it's just some crazy manifestation of exam stress and it will go away when I've helpfully failed them and can get down to my nice, planned and scheduled May Week partying), and writing a whiny LJ entry seems slightly more productive than sitting here crying because I don't have the strength to get out of my room and walk across the courtyard to where my Cell group are eating pizza, or phone Edith and ask what's happening (he probably went to see Requiem first, got sidetracked, and is now in Hall).
