(no subject)

My first survey of the meme, from foreverdirt!

1) Have you read Neverwhere yet? Huh? Huh? If so, what did you think of it? If not, why not?

I've *started* to read Neverwhere. I keep having to read chapters twice, though; I generally read just before sleeping and stuff, so a few paragraphs after something I'll remember 'hey, there was that really neat phrase there I practically skipped over, what was that again' and go back and read it again. So far, so good. (It's a lot creepier than *my* Other London.)

2) If all the maths could magically be taken out of your chosen university subject and career plan (including forthcoming exams), while the value of the course and everything else remained the same, would you take that option? Why?

No, I wouldn't. Y'see, I do like maths; I just dislike STEP papers. Maths-I-can-do is good; revising for P6 and M3 reminded me of that. In fact, I think the answer should be 'if I'm going to end up at York, then no. If I'm going to end up at Cam, then yes.' but as I have no way of knowing which it's going to be, I would say no. I'd also say no because then I wouldn't have to take STEP papers, and however much I moan about the uncertainty about where I'm going and how much I hate STEP papers, secretly I'm glad of the uncertainty. Because the uncertainty means that I don't have to choose; the choice is made for me, by all the random factors involved in taking an exam, so I won't be able to recriminate with myself quite so much if the uni I go to appears to be The Wrong Choice.

3) Do you believe in a literal Hell for non-Christians, or something closer to an absence of God/oblivion? How does this affect your relationships with us non-Christians?

Unfortunately, I can't seem to find much support for a non-literal Hell. Y'know, if it was up to me, Hell would just be the whole 'absence of God' thing; yes, it's bad because you get to see God and know how much better it could be, and then have to go live out your eternities in the kind of imperfect mess humans dream up, but I can't see any reason to punish everyone eternally beyond that. (I now accept that you have to have some kind of separation, simply because people who wouldn't accept God on Earth aren't going to suddenly accept Him in Heaven, and hence they would unbalance things. But I still don't see the rationale behind the actual punishment bit, more than people inflict upon themselves. I've been informed that I don't understand it because I've never really been hurt by anyone and wanted justice for it, but I always thought revenge was a bad thing.)

As for the second part of the question, it doesn't affect them much; you see, I also realised that as long as I make it perfectly clear to y'all where I stand and think you stand, there isn't anything particularly else I can do. I can't *force* you to be Christians - the whole point is that it is a *choice*, not something you can be forced into. And not being friends with people who aren't Christians (which is a choice some make, to save themselves the heartache of knowing they'll never get to spend eternity with them) is pretty much counter-productive, as well as daft and mean. So I occasionally reserve the right to wave the Christian flag at them if they seem to not mind hearing, but other than that I think my main duty is to let you enjoy the life you have, if you're not coming to Heaven.

4) You write, but do you think of yourself as a writer? Why?

Occasionally I have delusions of being a writer; mostly I realise that I'm not really disciplined enough to consider myself one. (I haven't done much more than mess around with the NaNoNovel and make starts of no more than 3,000 words on other random projects since then; I've been 'writing' through playing too many RPGs on Rondak's Portal, rather than writing 'properly'.)

5) What do you like best about growing up? What do you like worst? Why?

I dislike pretty much everything about the *process* of growing up; the endless procession of screwing things up, of being expected to do just that one more little thing, that every time you manage one of those major victories like being able to wash your own hair or remembering to change your clothes or learning to cook it's just taken for granted because you Should Be Able To. I think I'll like *being* grown up, though, because then I can wear what I like and travel to see people and take lifts from people and go for long walks on my own without everyone worrying about me. As for worst, having to look after yourself / your place of residence / everybody around you does occasionally suck, although the last one can be rewarding.

(no subject)

Second survey - from rho

1. What is your earliest profoundly religious experience that you can remember?

That one's easy. It's the vision of the glory of God that I had when I was six. (Before that I'd pretty much believed in God in the kind of 'my parents do' way that kids often do, but hadn't really had anything that could be termed a 'religious experience', let alone a 'profound' one.) We were standing on the top step up to the stage in St Michael's Church, looking out over the congregation, except I was looking up to the roof, because the roof of the church had always fascinated me, being big and far away and full of 'shape'. We were singing 'I'm Special'. And I was looking up to the roof and saw how symmetrical it was, like the bottom of a boat, one of those big boats with lots of oarsmen. And I wondered what would happen if the two halves of the roof split open, and the roof opened out like a huge door. And then I saw the roof open out like a huge door, the sides tilting away from each other, and between the two halves of the roof was a great golden *presence*, which was the angels watching over the church and being happy because we were worshipping, the angels softly reflecting the glory of God so that human eyes were not destroyed by its awesome holiness. And then the song ended and the roof/doors closed, and I quietly went back to my seat and thought about what I had seen, and for a long time I told no-one, but that afternoon when I was helping to wash up I told my mother that I wanted to become a Christian, 'properly'. (And then I was showered with leaflets by a somewhat overzealous evangelist and so on and so forth, but that isn't the story.)

2. What interests do you have that you've hardly pursued at all, but that you oculd see yourself being heavily into in an alternate reality?

Most of the interests I have I've pursued. But whenever I do think of myself in an alternate reality, one of the major things that I do more is walking. In an alternate reality I went hiking and camping and got into survivalist things and forestry and learning how to live off the land; I went caving and potholing and I learnt which mushrooms were poisionous and I learnt how to tell one or two of time, direction and date from the sun if I knew the others, and I slept under the stars and woke up in the middle of fields after walking for days with no idea where I was. I was tired, and hungry, and cold, and wet, and then I would see a shy deer or a shiny beetle and become gloriously and wonderfully content.

In the *other* other-life, I would be painispretty.

3. In what way is the world a better place for having you in it?

The little ways; I have made people happy, I have taken people out of depression, I have been a good friend, I have helped people with their jobs and their schoolwork and their lives, I have given good advice, I have made my parents proud of me. At times I have also done the reverse of all these things, but I like to think the amount of the former I have done outweighs the latter.

4. Do you consider the concepts of Christianity and humanism to be reconcilable? If so, how? If not, why not?

That entirely depends what you mean by humanism; also by 'reconcilable'. I think that if there was not a God, humanism would be the right way to go about things. For better or for worse, there *is* a God, and hence Christianity is right, although not necessarily the way that most people practise it. I think Christianity and humanism are quite *compatable*, in that people who believe in either should be working towards the same set of goals (world peace, individual happiness, the fulfillment of needs); Christianity simply acknowledges that it Isn't Going To Work with just humans alone, and hence adds a second, 'spiritual' layer to the problem, so that it can be solved.

However, Christianity is very clear that there is only one way to the Father, and into Heaven, and that is through Jesus; 'pick and mix religion', or 'living a good life and hoping', just won't cut it, because nobody can live a good *enough* life. Any other cut-off point between 'good' and 'bad' would be just as arbitary as the 100% point that has been set, so that cannot be a fair and equitable solution. Instead, Jesus offers us another way out; even if we aren't perfect and are going to cause suffering, if we're willing to *be* perfected, we can still come along to the place where everything is perfect and there is no more suffering. Humanism offers no such 'way out' and acknowledges no God, and hence the two *worldviews* are irreconcilable, even if many of the aims of people holding them are very much reconcilable and indeed should be reconciled wherever possible.

(Of course, if Hell *does* turn out to be oblivion, apart from a little bit at the end the Humanists have nothing more to worry about than they thought. I don't see any support for the idea of Hell as oblivion (even less than for the idea of Hell as being humanity left to its own devices), though.)

5. If you had an infinite budget, but could only spend it on one thing or well defined set of things ("a new wardrobe" is acceptable, "a dress, a computer and a car" isn't, for instance) and you weren't allowed to resell anything, what would you buy?

If I had an infinite budget that I could do only one thing with, I would give it to charities. I have absolutely no use for an infinite budget. If I have to buy a physical object, I would first try to get around it by buying a set of excessively small and insignificant objects (possibly badges or something) from as wide a range of charities as possible at vastly overinflated prices. Other options include 'the material necessary to build a self-sustaining, independant colony on Mars', which is the only other project where I would use insane quantities of money. I just don't have need for much.

And yes, I know charities are far from perfect, but I think that quite a lot of them could do quite a lot of good work with an infinite supply of money, and they're the only organisations I'd come even close to trusting with such money (who else? governments spend it on weapons, people are tempted to spend it on them...). Infinite sums of money require being spent on infinitely beneficial things, and things that will do the sum of money justice; there are only so many clothes you can have, so many businesses you can buy, but setting up sustainable infrastructure for the feeding and educating and sheltering and general support of the entire world population (not to mention its animals and ecosystems) is a challenge worthy of infinite money. (Of course, there are certain economic problems with the concept of an infinite budget, but merely Very Large Sums of money would be a good start.)

(no subject)

Surveyness, courtesy of Zachery Salempainispretty.

1. What to you is the saddest part of being unable to convert your friends to Christianity?

'Sad' isn't the emotion that automatically comes to mind. It generally goes more along the lines of 'angry'. Depending on what mood I'm in, it ranges from Why did the people I like have to not understand? through Well, why can't you just *make* them?! to Meh, why can't we just carry on forever like this here anyway, getting better and better, like they do in the books?.

2. Would you ever take part in a poosticks tournament?

I *have*.

3. Give up on LARP weekends if it meant no more STEP ever?

Mm. It would be selfish for me to say no, presuming it meant no more for anyone ever, because everyone seems to hate them so much. If it's just for me, then no because the trade would be pointless; if there were no STEP papers, I'd probably end up at Cam, in which case no LARP weekends anyway, so I only get to do LARPness (much) if I fail STEP.

4. Can you dance?

I *do* dance. Unlike singing, people tend to complement me on my dancing. I haven't quite worked out why, but I enjoy dancing and I enjoy being complemented, so that's all good.

5. What time *~should* the sun set? (punctuation included)

I'd say the way things are arranged now is pretty good, because you get a range of times for the sun to set, which should please most people some of the time, which is better than pleasing small numbers of people at the expense of displeasing others. I don't particularly have any strong opinions on the matter, although I'd be happier with it never setting at all (you can always go into an inside room of a buiding or get some decent curtains if you need the darkness) than not appearing at all (because it's very hard to generate as much light as the sun).