(no subject)

./~ They're out there making history
In the Lenin Shipyards today
And here I am in the Hammersmith Hotel
Wishing the days away ~\.

I've spent the past hour putzing about online. Bah.

I had a few bucketloads of angst I meant to drop on you, but I'm not sure I care enough about them any more. Either the computer science departments of all the Unis I've applied to are merely increadibly lazy or someone's trying to tell me something; I seem to be the only person in school without any offers or interview dates so far. (We did find the UCAS letter, btw - it was stuffed in an envelope with a bunch of stuff from Bath.)

Also on the angst front, I seem to be on-target for royally screwing up Further Maths (where failing = getting a B, of course). And some idiotic network admin has just said they're shutting the computers down in 3mins, so I can't even finish my Post'o'Angst. Bah.

Cry me a fucking river.

'I need to sort my locker out'. 'you all abandon me'. 'sometimes I have to walk to PE on my *own*'. How utterly horrific for you. I need to sort my *life* out. My hands are shaking. My sense has abandoned me. I'm angry with the whole world. Y'know, I usually walk places on my own. When I feel like this, I *prefer* it. That way I can't hurt anybody.

I have two data-response questions due for Economics, and I've only done one of them, and it's stuck on Melis, and now I'm at school I can't get it into hardcopy. I don't technically have an excuse because they've been due for ages and I've been mindlessly ignoring them, because I was trying to get my maths homework (also late) done, and generally avoid screwing up my pitiful life further. And now my nice little calm space in the Pod with the notworking computers has been invaded. Time to go to PE and let dear Melody throw me around a lot. I'm not even in the right kind of depressed mood for pain to make me feel better, more's the pity. (and they left the door open. and believe me, I'm thinking this with a lot more words beginning with 'f', but I still can't bring myself to write them. go me.)

./~ and there's nothing left
you come in on your own and you leave on your own
forget the lovers you've known and the friends on the phone
yeaaaaaah, wanna fix this hole inside
you're coming in on your own
you're coming in on your own ~\.

later

./~ just keep rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling ~\.
That kind of angry depression just leaves me empty and crushingly unmotivated.