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Ick. Now I'm really miserable.
My mum just yelled at me for using the computer too much. Well, she didn't really yell, she just had those wide angry eyes and that hurt tone of voice, and I feel really bad 'cos she's had a rubbish day and a rubbish week and a rubbish month and now I'm making her day worse. She's also right; it isn't good for me, and my general health is rubbish anyway. Problem is, there isn't really anything else to do - read, watch TV, write stuff on paper, similar stuff is available and so much better on the computer.
I've been looking around for evening-class type things to do and stuff like that which will get me out of the house and away from the computer, but I can't start any of them right away. The thing is, what I really need to do next with my life is to work out whether I really can't code or if I just haven't applied enough brainpower to it; which requires *more* computer time not less! And I don't want to have less time to talk to all the ppl online, 'cos I don't have many good, close IRL friends.
So I don't know what to do; I desperately don't want to upset my mum, I don't want to ruin my health so I can't use computers later in life, but I don't want to give up all the friends I've made online or make the friendships shallower by not having the time to spend on them... and I must stop writing this before I cry. (I must write another cheerful entry in here when I feel better, there's far too much doom and gloom in these livejournals.)
My mum just yelled at me for using the computer too much. Well, she didn't really yell, she just had those wide angry eyes and that hurt tone of voice, and I feel really bad 'cos she's had a rubbish day and a rubbish week and a rubbish month and now I'm making her day worse. She's also right; it isn't good for me, and my general health is rubbish anyway. Problem is, there isn't really anything else to do - read, watch TV, write stuff on paper, similar stuff is available and so much better on the computer.
I've been looking around for evening-class type things to do and stuff like that which will get me out of the house and away from the computer, but I can't start any of them right away. The thing is, what I really need to do next with my life is to work out whether I really can't code or if I just haven't applied enough brainpower to it; which requires *more* computer time not less! And I don't want to have less time to talk to all the ppl online, 'cos I don't have many good, close IRL friends.
So I don't know what to do; I desperately don't want to upset my mum, I don't want to ruin my health so I can't use computers later in life, but I don't want to give up all the friends I've made online or make the friendships shallower by not having the time to spend on them... and I must stop writing this before I cry. (I must write another cheerful entry in here when I feel better, there's far too much doom and gloom in these livejournals.)
