I really, really, really shouldn't have done that.

[chess]

I just did a very, very stupid thing. But I'm here and still alive, so it's okay. I'm probably going to be in trouble, though. I took a lift home with one of the guys from college. I mean, I've known him for months now (almost a year, in fact), but I've only ever seen him at college, and so I don't know anything about him except from what he's told me; he *seems* a normal, decent kind of guy, but so do all of the people whose cars people get into and are never seen again. It was just because I was too lazy to get the bus.

I didn't get my extra time either, and did run out of time, but I didn't say anything. Mostly because I think I'd got everything down anyway and didn't want to cause a fuss for nothing, but I'm probably going to be in trouble about that too. And if I had've complained about that, I wouldn't have taken a lift home, because everyone would have been gone. And the circumstances weren't the uncreepiest because he did wait back for me a bit because I was on the last row to leave.

Gah, I can be so stupid and naieve sometimes. Thank God that He's looking after me.

Comments

[passage.livejournal.com]

I think you're being unnecessarily harsh with yourself.

Neil

easy now...

[maximus-o.livejournal.com]

If you have known him for a year, calm down lol...

[enchantedmelody.livejournal.com]

~agrees with Neil~

See, Chess, even Neil thinks it's just a lift.

What's wrong with that?

That's what boys are there for after all - to look after you.

Why else would God have made male kind? ~looks at you blankly~

[naath.livejournal.com]

hey, it's OK Chessypig, I mean, you know the guy. Besides... you're old enough to stick up for yourself aren't you?

[passage.livejournal.com]

<thwap>

[marble.livejournal.com]

Remind me online sometime and I'll tell you what I'd comment here if I thought I wanted to put that in a public place...

[ruhe.livejournal.com]

Ok.

A) I don't think that catching a ride with a school acquintaince counts as a "very, very stupid thing" - and if it does - I think I want your life.

B) How much do you trust your judgement of people as individuals? What makes you think you put yourself at risk? i.e. why couldn't he just have been doing a nice thing? If I have a car on campus, I usually offer people rides if I know they don't have a car and seem to be in a hurry...it's just part of passing on the wealth (and I appreciate it when people do the same for me).

C) Who are "all of the people whose cars people get into and are never seen again?" I don't think I know any of them. Perhaps you're being unnecessarily hard on yourself...

D) Who the heck would you get in trouble with for accepting a ride home?

[passage.livejournal.com]

"and if it does - I think I want your life."

Do you mean "I don't think I want your life."?

Neil

[chess]

A) I'm talking from the POV that I've been taught.

B) My judgement of people as individuals is about as poor as it gets :). And I've been taught very much never to get into a car with someone that isn't a friend I know through (several different channels like church and family connections and my-parents-having-met-them).

C) From the media, via my parents.

D) Because of the vast danger I was obviously putting myself in.

Re:

[ruhe.livejournal.com]

Not really. I just meant that if that were very very stupid - then she hasn't done much that's stupid at all...

Re:

[ruhe.livejournal.com]

I can't argue with A too much - but I don't think you were putting yourself in much danger.
re B) After about age 13, I think you need to judge for _yourself_ the people that are ok and those that aren't.
re C) Forget the media - they usually blow stuff like that out of proportion. However, they probably are right about not allowing 6 year-olds to get in the car with total strangers.
and re D) I think you're overreacting about the "vast danger."

Lastly, you need to trust people sometimes. No, don't trust them blindly, but I hope you don't even have BLIND trust in your parents or friends...

Vast numbers of people being abducted from getting into the cars of poeple they knew

[passage.livejournal.com]

C) From the media, via my parents.

Well I think there have been ... 2 .. in the last 10 years?

Hmm, none as old as 16 either I don't think.

No, this is just an absurd worry.

Neil

[ahsu.livejournal.com]

I'm speaking from the point of view of a parent myself, chess.

No, I would not expect my nine year old to get in a car with a stranger. Yes, I will expect him (and his sisters) to make those judgments for themselves when they are 18. That's called maturity.

chess, the way you wrote this, I half expected you to be telling us that the guy tried to assault you or something! (And then I thought, "If someone hurt or scared chessypig, I'm flying to the UK to kick some ass!") Instead you told us that someone you know, and have known for nearly a year, offered you a ride. You told us that he seems "normal, decent." You told us that he may have hung back a little to make sure he could make the offer. That sounds fine to me.

It also sounds as though he might be interested in you, and there's nothing wrong with that, either (and if he is, it's entirely up to you what you do about it.) It often happens when a man or a woman sees someone else who is attractive (and that means personality and looks both) and intelligent. The person looks interesting, you find ways to get to know them a little better to decide whether to try and follow up on it.

I hope you don't get in trouble over this, mostly because you're a college student, and you're old enough to start judging for yourself. Your parents can't be there all the time to do it for you, and you'll straitjacket yourself if you only do things when they've approved them.

Oh, and I should point out -- your judgment of this person was obviously just fine. Keep that in mind, Chess! *smile, hug*

[chess]

I can kind of understand why my parents have drummed into me 'don't take lifts from people we don't know', though. I do have a habit of making the most appallingly wrong character judgements, and although I've never got myself into any physical danger because of them, I have ended up having stuff stolen and ending up being with people who are stealing etc and likely to get me into trouble (although again, noone has got me into anything serious yet).

Then again, there wasn't really any harm in this, I guess. It's just that it was against what I'd been told.

*hugs* for the concern :) It's good to know I have an Ahsu ready to kick some ass for me, even hypothetically :)