chess | (no subject)

Yesterday morning I saved the life of a snail. It was trying to climb into the drainage channel thingamy on the Cressing station platform, where snails regularly get stuck and dry out in the sun. I got it to crawl onto a leaf and put the leaf back in the hedgerow. I also killed several dozen spidermites that afternoon/evening, because there were hundreds and hundreds of them at the other end of the platform and it was practically impossible not to tread on loads. I also got some kind of wood resin all over my hands - it was this little patch on the gate that looked like crystalized honey, and when I pressed it this honey-colour liquid came out, and when I smelled it, it smelled of pine resin (although I don't think the wood is pine, I just think that's the only kind of resin I know the smell of). Odd how it came out of the old gate now, if that's where it came from.

I'm in a rather drifty mood atm. Doing the day-to-day things better, but... not quite there. Not quite real. Going through the motions of life. Waiting - passively. There's nothing wrong with waiting actively. But I am doing nothing - going nowhere - everywhere in the secular world, I could go, but nowhere that is personally satisfying. Just drifting through life. Doing this stupid Haylar webcomic, writing Stupid Harry Potter Mary Sue Fic (but *my* Mary Sue is a Slytherin. so there.), coding my RPG-thingamy, three games now on Rondak's Portal, two pages (of 25) at least of LJ-friends'-posts a day, all kinds of busy make-work to disguise the fact I'm desperately wasting my life right now.

Then again, I suspect there are very few people who could say that they are truly not wasting their life.