In a mental state like the one you are describing I have found that it has helped to imagine that you have *already* committed suicide, earlier today. Now that you are dead, your previous life is over (but as you are still alive, you have saved your family and friends all that grief and angst, and also saved yourself the chance of cocking it up and just paralysing yourself etc). Therefore anything you achieve to help other people, make the world a better place etc from this day forwards can only be a plus - so free of your previous worries, with a totally fresh sheet, what things could you do - even if it isn't much at all, coz don't forget, it is all extra - to actually be useful?