Entry tags:
- angst,
- car,
- rpgs,
- university
The terrible, terrible angst.
My head is made of lead. Also I forgot to pick up my prescriptions whilst in town. I am terrified that I shall never see my poor little car again, because they were meant to be looking at it for an hour starting from 9:30am and then ringing me, and they haven't. I checked the phone number several times but I can't help but worry that I transposed a digit or something; but I don't want to be pushy (and I don't want to have to walk back across town and collect it right now because I feel very dead).
I haven't felt properly alive since the weekend; I'm not sure whether I actually have some kind of illness or whether it is just the crushing weight of stress. At the weekend I ran a Nobilis game which I think should be the last RPG I ever run because they're not worth the stress; I lost points for running away and going to sleep for a couple of hours in the middle of Sunday. Then on Monday because I had lost my Psion I spent an hour in a doctors' waiting room (I'd got the time of my appointment wrong). Yesterday I attempted to take my car to the nice Cambridge Vehicle Services people and failed because I had an address which was seven years out of date for them (yet still the top hit on Google).
Hence today I had to get up really early to get my car to them, and the freezing cold wind almost killed me on the way back (I also forgot to get a hat; I need a hat so I don't get such awful headaches from the wind, and I left my hat in a church in Lincolnshire). I have also lost another glove and possibly another two on top of that, leaving me with one mismatched pair with a hole in the side of one.
I am not very good at life and suspect I am going to fail it. I hope I have some kind of illness which will go away, because currently I am good for nothing.
I haven't felt properly alive since the weekend; I'm not sure whether I actually have some kind of illness or whether it is just the crushing weight of stress. At the weekend I ran a Nobilis game which I think should be the last RPG I ever run because they're not worth the stress; I lost points for running away and going to sleep for a couple of hours in the middle of Sunday. Then on Monday because I had lost my Psion I spent an hour in a doctors' waiting room (I'd got the time of my appointment wrong). Yesterday I attempted to take my car to the nice Cambridge Vehicle Services people and failed because I had an address which was seven years out of date for them (yet still the top hit on Google).
Hence today I had to get up really early to get my car to them, and the freezing cold wind almost killed me on the way back (I also forgot to get a hat; I need a hat so I don't get such awful headaches from the wind, and I left my hat in a church in Lincolnshire). I have also lost another glove and possibly another two on top of that, leaving me with one mismatched pair with a hole in the side of one.
I am not very good at life and suspect I am going to fail it. I hope I have some kind of illness which will go away, because currently I am good for nothing.
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Look on the bright side, we all lose at life in the end. Feel any better?
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Though wouldn't it be more like "Daddy! Can we play Heaven now?" "No son, play life first. If you play well together maybe we'll play Heaven later." :)
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Hope you're feeling better soon.
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